Angie's Blog

Metamorphosis 9

2011-11-06T19:05:00.000-07:00

Haroun and the Sea of Stories is a whimsical little novel by Salman Rushdie. It reads rather like a children's book, but it also contains some clever satire that only older readers will get. There's a lot of commentary about censorship and propaganda, interesting in the light of his being condemned to death by Islam fanatics. I had never read anything else by him, and found it quite witty.

The Land of Painted Caves

2011-08-06T21:33:00.000-06:00

This is the long-awaited latest in the Earth's Children series by Jean Auel. She has stated this will be the last one; she has also stated that she feels the story of Ayla isn't finished, and I personally thought the end of the book leaves way too many loose ends. I wouldn't at all be surprised to see more in this saga, maybe focusing on her daughter Jonayla.

But what did I think of the book? Well, I did enjoy it although I found parts of it kind of repetitive. The Mother's Song is a beautiful piece of poetry but I didn't need to read it ten times. And I do find it a bit annoying that Ayla and Jondalar seem to the the only people who can figure out how to tame horses and wolves, use horses to haul things, every other new advancement in human history, etc. The dust jacket promises that Ayla discovers a new piece of knowledge that is life-changing. Which it is, but I find it a bit hard to believe that nobody would have figured it out before.

However, as usual the descriptions of the painted caves (the famous ones in France that can still be seen to this day) are breathtaking. I find Auel's characters a bit one-dimensional but she's very good at bringing a scene to life so that I can almost see it in front of me.

If you've read all the others, you gotta read this one too. Even if you've never read any of the others, this one can stand on its own as she does explain certain things that happened in the past. It helped me too although I did read all the others, but it's been so long!

I hope Auel hasn't hung up the quill yet. I think she still has a lot of stories to tell.

Metamorphosis 8

2011-07-15T22:36:00.001-06:00

Got really sidetracked by some non-fiction books that weren't on the list, as well as Richard III: The Maligned King by an online acquaintance, Annette Carson. I haven't believed Richard was guilty of killing his nephews ever since reading Tey's Daughter of Time as a teenager. So this book didn't convince me of anything new, but I certainly learned some new things about Richard and his world courtesy of her thorough research.

Putting in some spaces now to go down to the next book, hope this looks half decent to everyone!

No, this is not a Chemistry textbook. The Periodic Table is an autobiographical narrative by noted chemist Primo Levi, who was also an Italian Jew who spent time in Auschwitz during the war. Each chapter, from his boyhood to middle age, takes the name of an element. Auschwitz is mentioned but his time there is apparently explored more deeply in some other book he wrote, which I may seek out at some point.

Far from being dry and humorless as you would expect, it's full of droll wit and observations about humanity. Apparently he won several awards for this book. I enjoyed it more than I thought I would from looking at the table of contents.

The Skystone

2011-03-24T11:09:00.000-06:00

This was a book borrowed from a friend - lucky it wasn't a purchase because once again I realized halfway through that I'd read it already at some point. But if you like historical fiction about Roman Britain (this book is actually the first of a series, and a precursor to the King Arthur story) you'll enjoy this one.

The only quibble I have? I find it a bit hard to believe that the Romans wouldn't have known what comets were (you'll see).

A Vengeful Longing

2011-03-07T14:25:00.000-07:00

By R.N. Morris, a sequel to a previous book which I think I should now read.

This murder mystery takes place in tsarist St. Petersburg in the 1860s. There have been recent reforms but the country is still very much locked into class divisions and corruption. Our detective is Porfiry Petrovich, who was a character in Dostoyevski's Crime and Punishment (which I think awaits me on my list of 100 Must-Read Novels). In some ways he reminded me of D.S. Dalziel from Reginald Hill's Dalziel and Pascoe series, though not quite as rude to his underlings.

It opens with the poisoning of a doctor's wife and son and of course other murders crop up which turn out to all be connected. A good read in my opinion.

The Navigator

2011-03-07T14:18:00.000-07:00

Still reading the books I bought at a used book sale in the fall before I get back to my 100 Must-Read Novels or whatever they're called.

A typical Clive Cussler novel, full of action in various exotic locales, spiced with historical connections. This one runs the gamut from the ancient Phoenicians to Thomas Jefferson. I found it quite entertaining although far-fetched in places, but we read these kind of books to escape from the ordinary, right?

I did enjoy the maniac who was obsessed with medieval jousting tournaments. My kind of bad guy!

Saturday

2011-02-18T11:40:00.000-07:00

Another Ian McEwan novel which I found at a used book sale. As the title implies, it follows the Saturday from waking to sleeping of a London neurosurgeon who expects it to be an ordinary day, and instead finds it to be life- and attitude-changing.

This is the third novel by McEwan that I have read, and I admire his gift for getting inside a person's head. He also finds a way to portray even a villain with some degree of sympathy, which is refreshing in these days of one-dimensional baddies in print and film.

He did a lot of collaboration with an actual neurosurgeon and I found the operating room narratives quite fascinating. They are detailed so others may wish to skip over them, but I enjoyed them.

Life

2011-02-18T11:36:00.000-07:00

I was expecting to get Life by Keith Richards for a Christmas present, and indeed my oldest son came through. I had heard a lot about it and was expecting a good read, and ended up really enjoying it. There was a ghost writer collaborating with him, but I'm pretty sure much of it is his own words; anyone who has read or heard an interview with Keith will agree that he's intelligent and articulate, and the writing probably just needed some polishing. And possibly some kick-starting.

We hear a lot about his childhood and the legendary early meetings with Mick Jagger, who grew up in the same suburb of London. We learn stuff about his family that I personally had never heard before. He is candid about his use of drugs, the feud with Brian Jones and the later feud with Jagger which appears to be continuing in the present.

I recommend it to any Stones or rock and roll fan.

The Charlemagne Pursuit

2011-01-14T15:40:00.000-07:00

I very much enjoyed this book by Steve Berry. I realized right away I had read another book with the same main characters but at least it wasn't the same book.

Our hero Cotton Malone becomes caught up in a search for some answers - what exactly happened to his father when he died on a highly classified Navy submarine mission to Antarctica in the early 1970s? Along the way we meet assorted assassins, ancient tales of Nazis and Charlemagne himself.

Princes of Ireland

2011-01-04T12:50:00.000-07:00

This was one I bought at a used book sale. As I started reading it I got the feeling I had read it before, which is quite possible as I enjoy Rutherfurd's books, so I think I may have taken it out from the library when it first came out. Or perhaps the early chapters were familiar because I've also been doing some reading about Druidic/Celtic mythology.

Anyway, in true Rutherfurd form it spans a time period from prehistoric times to the 1500s. Most of his others come right up to the present, so I assumed there was a sequel - and yes, apparently he has written another one called Rebels of Ireland. I'll have to check that one out too.

I do love a good historical yarn and his family sagas fit the bill for me! I enjoy reading about historical events and how they affect everyday people.

The Tower, The Zoo and the Tortoise

2010-12-13T15:17:00.000-07:00

After the almost constant drama and "history-witnessing" events of Fall of Giants, it was refreshing to read this whimsical little book by Julia Stuart. The central characters are a Beefeater and his wife - you know, the guys who wear the red suits and guard (and live in, and act as tourist guides for) the Tower of London. The interplay between them and their neighbors/co-workers is hilarious at times, but there is solemnity too. An underlying theme is the mourning the couple are in for their only son who died at the age of 11.

But on the whole, it's quite an entertaining little book. It's great for a history nut like me, who can only imagine what it would be like to live in a place like that literally surrounded by it.

I've already taken it back to the library but I think the dust jacket notes said it's only Stuart's second novel; I look forward to seeing more from her.

Fall of Giants

2010-12-13T15:07:00.000-07:00

When I saw that Ken Follett was coming out with a new book, I reserved it at the library right away.

In typical Follett fashion, the story takes place before, during and after World War I, on three different continents, involving several different families who all somehow become intertwined.

It is rather a gloomy book, but I guess it was a gloomy period of history. Even when the war ended there was still poverty and disruption, especially in the defeated countries. There is love and hope too though.

Over and over again the theme recurs about how "upper class" men were automatically given leadership in the army, with sometimes not so spectacular results. One can see how World War I was the catalyst for the end of some of the European autocracies.

It's the first of a trilogy; I intend to read the others, whenever they come out some years down the road.

Another potboiler!

2010-11-11T11:54:00.001-07:00

Just finished The Red Queen by Philippa Gregory. Yes, I know she plays fast and loose with the facts sometimes - even she admits that a lot of her books are "what if?" scenarios - and she paints a very bleak picture of how greedy and ambitious humans can be. But you can't deny her books are entertaining, and I had this one on reserve at my library as soon as I heard it was coming out!

Any student of the Tudor period knows the bare facts of how Henry VII, the founder of the dynasty, came to be. His father was Edmund Tudor, Earl of Richmond, son of Katherine of Valois (widow of Henry V) by her second union with Welsh nobleman Owen Tudor, and thus half-brother of Henry VI, although with no claim to the throne. His mother was Margaret Beaufort, a great-granddaughter of John of Gaunt by his last marriage to Katherine Swynford, whose descendants were legitimized by special decree, but barred from inheriting the throne since John and Katherine's children were born before they were married. So she was fairly closely related to the king, but theoretically had no claim to the throne either.

But the bare facts aren't always the most interesting ones. Marriages were made for dynastic reasons back then; obviously it was thought Edmund and Margaret would be a "good match" without any consideration given to their feelings about the matter, but that's how it was if you were royalty or nobility. In Gregory's book, the marriage between 25-year-old Edmund and 12-year-old Margaret is a grim, joyless affair. They have little in common, and the sex is a painful nightly duty to conceive an heir. I read another book about Margaret a few years ago, the name of which escapes me, which has them fall madly in love with each other and Margaret absolutely crushed when Edmund died a few months before their son was born.

History doesn't tell us how they felt about each other; I'd be willing to bet the truth is somewhere in between.

Anyway, their son Henry Tudor, who under any other circumstances would have been an obscure nobleman enjoying a close kinship to the king without any claim himself, became an important little boy as the Wars of the Roses dragged on and his distant cousins all killed each other. He ended up being the Lancastrian heir to the throne. It is known that his mother Margaret was remarried to a couple of Yorkist noblemen, but of course her efforts were all aimed at putting her son on the throne. We know that she had a secret correspondence with Elizabeth Woodville, the widow of Edward IV, about Henry marrying their daughter Elizabeth. Of course as we all know, this is eventually what happened, uniting the two lines of the rival descendants of Edward III and putting an end to the Wars of the Roses, other than a few fitful rebellions which were swiftly put down.

How far did Margaret go beyond that, though? Gregory has her ordering the deaths of the Princes of the Tower, although it appears someone else beat her to the punch... their fate is one of the great unsolved mysteries of history, and the debate rages on to this day over who was actually responsible, or even what actually happened. Although Margaret was definitely one of the people with the most to gain from their deaths, she was so devoutly religious that she had calluses on her knees from kneeling and praying so much, so I really can't see her ordering the murder of two children... but of course I wasn't there so I can't say.

This is incredibly nerdy but one thing I find odd too is how Margaret supported the Lancastrian cause, yet if you look at genealogy she was actually more closely related to Edward IV than to Henry VI, although of course her first husband was his half-brother. People forget that Edward IV's maternal grandmother was also a Beaufort, a daughter of John of Gaunt and Katherine Swynford. Edward IV was descended from three sons of Edward III, Henry VI and Margaret Beaufort from only one, as far as I can remember. Medieval royal and noble genealogy can be breathtakingly complicated and you can go blind studying all the intermingled lines, but that's just my observation.

Anyway, I enjoyed this book.

Metamorphosis 7

2010-10-25T12:10:00.000-06:00

American Pastoral by Philip Roth is one of those books that has you on the edge of your seat wondering what is going to happen next, yet you are uneasy about what might happen.

The title refers to the American suburban dream... a wealthy family man who appears to have everything but whose life is shattered, first by the ugly side of the 1960s impacting his home, then by betrayals of others close to him. I better not say any more!

The characters are sympathetically drawn, yet we aren't allowed to be blind to their flaws. I enjoyed it and recommend it.

Metamorphosis 6

2010-09-21T11:17:00.001-06:00

One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez was next on the list. It was written in the 1960s and some have hailed it as one of the most influential novels of the 20th century. Apparently it is a microcosm of Colombian history. Although I'm not intimately acquainted with that subject I was able to see the parallels to colonial history in general - the first settlers living in isolation, the advent of technology with all the good and bad aspects, revolution.

It's a saga of a family that actually spans about 200 years and several generations, although it's hard to tell since some of the characters live to be over 150 years old. I enjoy "family saga novels" but this one was a bit harder to get through than some, not only because it's a bit bizarre but also because so many of the male characters have the same names. I found myself constantly referring to the family tree in the front of the book.

It is a good story though - the archetypes of the characterizations ring true. The translation from the Spanish is well done and reads smoothly.

Next P.D. James

2010-08-26T10:04:00.000-06:00

My other flea market purchase was A Taste for Death. Once I started reading, I realized I saw it years ago on PBS Mystery. But that was all right - it was long enough ago that I didn't remember who the killer was!

Vintage P.D. James. Rich bored dilettantes, resentful servants, nosy church ladies, with an anarchist or two thrown into the mix to keep it interesting. This book was from 1986 so some of it still seems quaint to us, but her writing is fresh anyway.

I recommend it. Now I am back to the hundred must-read novels... will update when I am done the newest one

2 in 1 (catching up)

2010-07-21T19:29:00.001-06:00

So I read Solar by Ian McEwan. After reading Atonement I discovered he had a new novel coming out, and immediately reserved it at my local public library. It took over two months to get it, but it was worth the wait. It is a very different novel; the ending doesn't really resolve much and the protagonist is someone you're really not meant to like but you end up feeling a grudging sympathy for him at some points.

Michael Beard is a Nobel-winning physicist whose best years are behind him and whose private life is incredibly complicated and ego incredibly large. This leads to some hilarious passages. In one, he is forced to pee outside during a Spitsbergen winter - as one reviewer said, I defy any male to read this without shuddering.

And I read The Black Tower, one of the P.D. James paperbacks I bought from a flea market. It's an early Adam Dalgleish novel, from 1975; I was amused to see that as far back as that he was already thinking about hanging up the holster, as he so often is in the later books. These early P.D. James books remind me somewhat of an Agatha Christie novel; I mean, TYPEWRITER evidence? They seem quaint yet not outdated; the story and characters are still fresh. In this one, Dalgleish receives a letter inviting him to visit an old family friend who he hasn't seen in years. On arrival, he finds his friend has died in circumstances that, of course, aren't as straightforward as they appear.

The usual twists and surprises occur... don't want to give them away.

Metamorphosis 5

2010-06-09T23:12:00.000-06:00

Next up was Austerlitz by W.G. Sebald. A very different novel; almost entirely a monologue told to an unknown listener. Yet not boring at all... and even though translated from its original German it doesn't read awkwardly as many translations do. Austerlitz is a middle-aged man who was evacuated to England from Czechoslovakia as a child in the summer of 1939... as he gets older he feels the need to find out why. The novel tells the story of his own journey of self-discovery. But those are just the bare bones... Sebald is a master of observation, of things and emotions.

The one strange thing is that it's not divided into chapters. Even paragraphs can go on for pages and pages. So it's not really suited for reading in "chunks" as I tend to do. Reading on my lunch hour at work, I would reluctantly have to close the book right in the middle of an especially lush passage. But it's a haunting story and touched a chord in me.

I will now take a short break from the "Top 100 Must Read Novels" as I purchased a couple of P.D. James paperbacks from a flea market so I feel obligated to read them. However if, as has happened to me before, I get a few pages in and realize I've already read them, I'll be on to the next one on the "must read" list.

Metamorphosis 4

2010-06-01T15:44:00.000-06:00

After the sometimes flowery Victorianism of Stevenson, the abrupt, slangy writing style of James Ellroy was, to say the least, jarring. This, and the huge cast of characters introduced at a rapidfire pace, made L.A. Confidential a bit hard to get into at first. But by the end of the book I couldn't wait to find out who the bad guys were... I don't want to give away too much of the plot, but let's just say this novel paints a very unflattering picture of the corruption of the oft-interwined LAPD and Hollywood in the 1950s.

This 1990 novel was later made into a movie starrting Kevin Spacey, Russell Crowe, Guy Pearce and Kim Basinger. A few years later a TV movie with Kiefer Sutherland was made by Fox - a pilot for a 13-part miniseries which never materialized. Dang, now that I looked at the IMDB entries my visualizations of how I thought the characters looked are all messed up...

I also find out from imdb.com that it's the third book in a four-part series called "L.A. Quartet". I suppose I'll have to check out the others now.

Metamorphosis 3

2010-05-08T21:10:00.002-06:00

Right now I'm reading The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson. The one I got from the library is the Penguin edition which also includes some of his short stories. These older classics are a bit harder to get through because the language seems a bit dated to us, but the story is compelling, and it's fascinating how Jekyll and Hyde are recognizable archetypes to this day.

Metamorphosis 2

2010-05-08T21:08:00.001-06:00

Next up was Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison. We also join this story sometime in the 1930s and it continues until the 1960s. It is about a black family in the US; the central character grows up and needs to find himself amidst the backdrop of the civil rights movement. Lots of strangeness too but in a good way!

Metamorphosis.

2010-05-08T21:06:00.003-06:00

Trying to make myself a more well-rounded reader... I've embarked on trying to read all 100 of the must-read novels as chosen by someone at the Guardian newspaper in the UK.

So far I have read Atonement by Ian McEwen. A very good drama set in England in the 1930s to the present. A young girl from an affluent family is going through traumas like many 13-year-olds, but she further complicates her life and those of others when she makes a false accusation... and spends the rest of her life atoning, hence the title.

A few days late but...

2009-11-15T00:07:00.002-07:00

I guess this is kind of related to Remembrance Day...

One of my unforgettable moments was at a funeral, when my grandpa died last summer at the age of 97. Although I was sad when he died, I had really only shed tears when I first heard about it. I was going through a lot of other things in my personal life at the time, so I was kind of numb. Though my grandpa loved us all dearly, and we him, he was a prim and proper Englishman, a United Church minister with very high moral standards and could be quite stern. He made no secret of his disapproval if he thought any of us weren't dressed appropriately for an occasion, or if he thought we weren't behaving the proper way in a situation.

I held myself together pretty well for the next few days. Even at the funeral itself, I was dry-eyed for the most part.

My grandpa was a war veteran and belonged to the local branch of the Legion, so a bunch of Legionnaires were there decked out in their uniforms. Most of them were elderly too. One of them sat directly across the aisle from me, and was obviously in very poor health. He looked like he was at least 90, didn't try to stand for any of the hymns, and his hands shook as he held the hymn book. His back was hunched and he barely looked up during the service. He was in full Legion uniform with a chest full of medals.

Then the moment came when all those who were current or former members of the miitary were to stand up and salute. (For those who don't know, they often do this at a military or veteran's funeral.) The old gentleman across from me reached out and grabbed the pew in front of him with both hands and began hauling himself to his feet. A couple of people around him tried to help him up, and he impatiently shook their hands off and got up all by himself.

Standing ramrod straight, hanging onto nothing, and without a trace of his former tremor, he stared straight ahead and gave a smart salute that recalled the young recruit of 60-odd years ago. He stood for as long as the salute went on, sitting down only when everyone else had. Although it was only for about 30 seconds, the effort had obviously cost him greatly, as when it was time to sit down he practically fell down, and was slumping even more than before and breathing heavily.

Something about that really got to me... I have no idea who he was or how close he was to my grandpa. He could have just been a casual acquaintance of his from the Legion for all I know. But all I could think of was, "My grandpa would have approved." He overcame his pain and disability to rise to his duty for the occasion... as Grandpa would have done and would have expected us to do.

That is when the tears finally came... that is when I truly realized what Grandpa had meant to all of us.

And I'm crying now too.

Hey, new post!

2009-10-22T12:14:00.004-06:00

I know you've all been eagerly awaiting one, haven't you??? The clamor has been truly deafening.

Actually this one is a favor for some friends. Check out their awesome amphibious transport machines... Four Tracks All Terrain.

These things will literally go almost anywhere, and they're built for all weather too.

so how are you all?

2009-07-26T20:52:00.001-06:00

Haven't updated in a long time? /hangs head

Here's hoping...

2008-12-28T10:53:00.001-07:00

That you all are having a good holiday season and that 2009 will bring you all that is good.

Hey!

2008-12-09T12:44:00.002-07:00

As some of you know, I am not a big fan of Christmas. I'm really not sure why. It seems to symbolize greed and excess more than anything, and I'm not a person who is able to spend large sums of money on gifts. I like keeping it simple and nowadays there's so much pressure to spend, spend, spend; to top last year.

This year I'm not dreading it quite so much for some reason. This has not been a good year for me in many ways; yet who knows what may be around the corner, and there are good things happening too, good changes.

Merry happy to all.

A blonde joke!

2008-08-31T20:53:00.001-06:00

I don't normally like jokes that discriminate, but this is the funniest blonde joke I've ever read! http://www.samanthaburns.com/archives/2006/01/the_best_blonde.html

and...

2008-08-02T00:48:00.001-06:00

Just trying out ScribeFire, a Firefox extension that lets you publish to your blog.

Hmmm...

2008-08-02T00:35:00.003-06:00

Well, someone actually asked me the other day when I was updating this. So maybe I should?

This weekend I'm enjoying some peace and quiet as the husband and two younger sons have gone camping. I still have the 17-year-old here but he mostly stays in his room so I may as well be alone.

In the bigger scheme of things, my grandfather passed away earlier this week. He was 97, but had enjoyed pretty good health until near the end. His mind was still sharp and he still enjoyed a glass of wine or two. I raise my glass to you, Grandpa. I know you and Grammy are drinking sherry somewhere right now.

Thoughts on autumn

2007-11-20T16:26:00.000-07:00

So many people view autumn as a time of death, of things going dormant. I've always felt it was a time of personal growth for me.

Think of an animal hibernating. They're going underground now. But it's not a time of stagnation for them. Many of the females are pregnant. All are fat with the fall harvest, sleeping through the winter, so many changes going on beneath the surface.

And perennials go dormant too, or so it appears. But they are only resting, waiting for the spring to burst into their full beauty and glory.

I am always contemplative and introspective in the fall. I may seem quiet, but this weird lil' brain is humming with activity. Who knows what is going on in my mind? Well, nobody. Not even myself half the time. My thoughts really do run the gamut on these long nights, and not always to a good place - but the people I care for pull me back.

The point of this blog entry? None, really. Just felt like writing something, I guess.

howdy y'all

2007-11-03T02:01:00.000-06:00

If anyone is still checking this besides people who are googling "Angie blog"... there, since I actually put the phrase in I'll get it even more...

Things have been going better for me lately. I recently found a few articles I've been missing for a while. They weren't things that are worth money but mean a lot to me personally. I think it's some kind of a sign that my life will be improving.

Emotionally too, much happier and more self-reliant over the last few months.

So maybe I'm just finally finding myself. =)

Wow, it's been a long time since I updated

2007-08-11T03:15:00.000-06:00

I guess nothing interesting has happened to me.

Things are much the same as always. Except the last few months has been crazy at work, leading to some stress.

And I'm finally getting a garage!

he he

2007-01-28T02:15:00.000-07:00

Well, I guess if I'm directing people to this I should update.

Not much happening lately, still a sense of transition and not knowing what's around the corner.

Oh, and I got a new computer in September. A 20" iMac dual core Intel. I love it!

strangeness

2006-09-14T11:32:00.000-06:00

There is a sense of transition right now... but to what?

I don't know what will happen.

So that's why I'm in demand...

2006-05-09T14:07:00.000-06:00

People are looking for the hot and spicy blog referred to in an article at MSN Dating. Sorry my life is too boring, ha ha. Thanks for the tip, anonymous.

Hey, can one of you people tell me...

2006-05-09T13:20:00.000-06:00

Why I'm getting so many hits today? I'm getting bombarded with people finding this blog by googling "Angie Matt." Can someone leave me a comment and tell me what "Angie Matt" is? Not that I mind, of course, it's great, but I'm just wondering where this is coming from all of a sudden. Thanks. :)

Back in time!

2006-03-08T11:55:00.000-07:00

The time has come for my oldest son to choose a high school. So last night we went to a high school open house at Queen Elizabeth, which happens to be the school I graduated from. We moved to Edmonton when I was in the middle of grade 12, so I actually was only there for one semester, to pick up enough credits to graduate. Therefore, I don't feel any sentimental attachment to it or anything. I was very shy, made no lasting friendships while I was there, and have never gone to any reunions. I didn't even go to the grad. I have been in the building a few times in the last couple of years for taekwondo tournaments, etc. and felt totally detached from it.

So it was rather odd to walk into that school last night and suddenly be 17 again. Maybe it was because the halls were filled with kids. But I felt like the old lady in the Titanic movie looking at the wreck on the submarine cam. We'd turn a corner and suddenly things would fill my vision, remembering something that happened there. The emotional turmoil that was me that year even came back a bit. I had just moved to the big city from a small town, was in a new school which was five times as big as my old one, where I knew nobody except a cousin who was only in grade 10 and therefore our paths seldom crossed. My parents had only split up a few months before as well, so that was a big adjustment. There was one staircase that was even hard for me to walk down, because I remembered when I went there it was always occupied by a bunch of guys who would make crude comments about any girl who walked through them. I almost felt their presence mocking me as I followed my son down the stairs.

We have another open house to go to and then he will decide which school he wants. Of course it will also depend on where all his friends go. If he does pick 'Queen E' so be it - I'm sure if I ever have to go there again it won't be as weird as last night was.

Wow, our weather is crazy sometimes

2006-02-18T02:24:00.000-07:00

Yesterday morning it was so bright and sunny I had to wear my clip-on shades as I drove to work. and there was a beautiful rainbow in the sky. Remarkable for the middle of February.

All the more remarkable when you consider it was -28 outside.

Still no snow, though.

So last week was the Christmas concert

2005-12-22T13:37:00.000-07:00

Last week was the concert for the elementary school my two younger sons go to. I had to have them there half an hour before the concert started, so there was nothing to do but go to the gym and get a seat, along with the rest of the crowd of bored, impatient parents.

So I had a bit of time to reflect. I remember so many Christmas concerts as a kid. That moment before the curtain went up, when we could hear the buzz of the crowd out there, and knowing that my parents were there waiting. The sounds and smells are still the same, only now I am out in the crowd waiting. Many of the parents around me had small children. When my oldest son was in the early grades I was often at the concert with one or two toddlers. They would get totally bored because they couldn't really see anything, and I would always hope they wouldn't get too noisy and I wouldn't have to take them out and miss the concert myself. Thankfully, I never had to. But it wasn't that long ago for me that I didn't sympathize with the young parents trying every trick at their disposal to settle down their restless toddlers, glancing around to detect signs of annoyance in their neighbors, hoping they could stay for the duration of the concert.

It really makes me think how time has marched on. My first school Christmas concert as a parent was when my oldest was in preschool - my second son was a babe in arms and the third was an unimagined blip in the future. A few years later, I had two kids to watch on stage and only one toddler. One year all three of them were in the concert. And now the oldest has passed on to junior high, so I only have two to watch. My youngest is in grade 3, so as hard as it may be to believe, I will only have three more years of Christmas concerts. This familiar school gym that I have already been coming to for nine years will become a memory, a place of nostalgia, a place I may visit occasionally at election time if the polling station happens to be there.

The music starts and the kids start filing into their places. Matthew, in grade 5, is in there somewhere but I can't see him at first. Then I find him, and he is peering out looking for me. When he's looking in my direction I stand up and wave, but I'm almost at the back of the gym so I know he can't see me. I do the same thing when the younger kids come out, and Jacob, in grade 3, is looking for me. Neither of them ever see me, but they know that I'm there, and I guess that's what counts.

It makes me think of the concerts in Mannville, where usually both of my parents and my paternal grandparents would be there. It just felt good knowing that someone cared enough to be there to watch me. In addition to the school concert, we usually were in a play at the rural community hall, which used to be a one-room schoolhouse. One of the local ladies was a schoolteacher and she would press into service all the kids from our district. For a couple of weeks we had to spend our school lunch hours rehearsing. It was always some corny play for which I had to wear a ridiculous costume, and memorize a few lines which I hated, but it was worth it because when the play ended it was party time. Santa would come and hand out gifts, and there would be, of course, treats to eat. One year my grandpa was Santa, and I was old enough to know that it was him, but mature enough to know that I shouldn't ruin it for the little kids. When it was my turn to go and get my gift from him, he was grinning at me with twinkling blue eyes, and I don't think I said anything to him except "thank you," an unspoken understanding passing between us. I really miss my grandparents at this time of year.

When the party was almost over, the dads would go out and start the vehicles, then bit by bit we would all go out into the cold night, to drive down the dark country roads to our homes. The chores would have to be done early the next morning as usual, so nobody lingered too late.

I don't think they have those parties down there any more, but if they did I would like to take my kids. They are always baffled when we go to my hometown, trying to figure out how I can know so many people who are strangers to them, and how they can be related to so many strangers too. But although they are city born and raised, it is part of their heritage because it is part of what has made me what I am, for better or for worse, although I think it is mostly for the better.

Well, this is a very long post. To any who read it, have a wonderful holiday season and super new year.

Wow, was it windy this morning!

2005-11-18T10:31:00.000-07:00

Nothing like coming outside and finding the neighbor's garbage bags in my driveway.

It feels like a cleansing wind, though - it will strip all the remaining leaves from the trees, and clear away the detritus of summer and fall. I wish it would wash my car too though.

So yesterday was sort of an anniversary for me

2005-10-02T14:41:00.000-06:00

October 1, 1990 was the day I found out I was to be a mom. We had been trying for a while so I was pretty happy. I remember feeling so special, and so awed that something tiny was growing inside me and was my child. Now that the tiny cluster of cells is an obnoxious 14-year-old, I try to remember that feeling, and how precious he is. I was happy when I found out I was pregnant with the other two, but there's nothing like that first time, the day your life changes forever. It was never going to be just me again. I was now a MOTHER.

Ha ha, he'll be SO embarrassed if he reads this.

aarrrghhhh!

2005-08-25T15:45:00.000-06:00

I really think that shopping for school supplies is one of the most stressful things you have to do as a parent! Not only is it bloody expensive, when you've got three kids, but some things are almost impossible to find! I thought I had it all licked because I managed to order most of the things from Staples, but even then I still had to go to four different stores to get everything else. Zellers had most of the other things, but they didn't have any duotangs left! I was looking all over the aisle to see if there was a hidden stash, and parent after parent came, stared blankly at the empty shelf and left. So I was forced to go to Superstore, which I dislike intensely, to get duotangs and luckily they had some of the more elusive exercise books that I needed. Some of those things are so specific! "80-page Hilroy Redi-Tab exercise book (not coiled), interlined, (not half and half), 27 cm x 21 cm." And there were thesaurii galore, but not the Roget's one that was specifically needed for Matthew's list. I ended up driving to a Chapter's store just for that one item. And do you think I could find oil pastels anywhere? Noooo, I had to go to a craft store to find that elusive holy grail.

And to top it all off, I miscalculated the number of duotangs so I have to go out and find more.

Does this mean I'm a folkie?

2005-08-05T10:43:00.000-06:00

I bought a ticket just for last night because I wanted to see Loreena McKennitt. I had never heard of any of the other announced acts, but one of them did a reggae, trumpeting version of Led Zeppelin's Black Dog, if you can imagine that.

Loreena came on stage when it was almost completely dark, with a new moon. There was definitely magic in the air. Along with the usual whiffs of cigarette and pot smoke, someone near me was burning incense.

well, we did it

2005-07-15T23:38:00.000-06:00

We got Grandma's house somewhat cleaned out. I came home with three boxes of stuff, including some things I'll actually use and others that are purely sentimental.

I think my favorite thing is the horseshoe that's been hanging above the door for as long as I can remember. It is now hanging above my door. Watching my dad get it down, I could visualize my grandpa as a young man hanging it in his brand new house. I think he would be glad that somebody was using it now.

A horseshoe is supposed to bring good luck to the house. I hope that is true. My grandparents weren't wealthy, but they made a good living, raised a family which isn't perfect but is mostly made up of nice people, and they had an ease and comfort with each other that very few couples can match.

They would sit and play Scrabble every evening and argue endlessly about the validity of words. There was a small dictionary which resided in the box with the game and it was constantly being consulted. "That's not a word!" Then the other person would frantically ruffle the pages trying to prove that it was indeed a word. The arguments were fierce but loving.

Of course, if I played I could put whatever word I wanted and neither of them would challenge me. Such is the privilege of the grandchild.

My grandparents were packrats and kept everything. We found endless caches of letters and birthday cards. We found old recipes. We found yellowed newspaper clippings with addresses to send away for embroidery patterns, dated 1965. I think it's safe to throw those out now.

One poignant find was a box of floral arrangements which were received over 50 years ago after a stillborn child.

There were no fights over who was to have what. There were only seven people there out of a possible 30 who could have been involved, so that probably helped.

I am to have an old bureau which is supposed to have come west with my great-great-grandparents and is about 150 years old.

In other news, we went to Drumheller for a few days. We went to Reptile World and this time I let them drape Brittany the boa constrictor over my shoulders, more to prove to my kids that I would do it than anything else. It was surprisingly heavy, but felt cool and smooth. I had one hand under its head and one under its tail. I could feel the reptilian pulse on my back and in each hand. That was kind of neat.

Grandma's House

2005-06-27T00:31:00.000-06:00

So in a couple of weeks we're supposed to all get together to clear out my grandma's house on the farm. In a way I suppose it will provide some closure (she passed in December just days before her 90th birthday) and it will be nice to have a couple of small remembrances of her.

But at the same time I'm not looking forward to the finality of it. You see, she moved into a seniors' apartment over 10 years ago, but left most of her stuff behind because originally the plan was that she was only going to live in town in the winter, and still come back out to the farm in summer. Grandpa passed in 1992 and although my aunt and uncle live next door, she was often alone in the winter because they had four family members who played hockey or ringette. Once she found out that she actually enjoyed living in town and being close to everything the plan never materialized and her house sort of became a guesthouse for my aunt and uncle.

I can't help thinking it's going to be sad to see the house emptied of all her stuff. Over the years I've stayed there a number of times when my aunt and uncle were having a family gathering, and it was comforting to still see all the things I saw when I was growing up even though my grandparents no longer lived in the house. Most of the same furniture, the pictures on the wall, even memos stuck on the bulletin board.

That house is sort of a stable influence for me because it is the only house I've been going to my whole life. We moved a lot, my other grandparents moved a lot, and so did my other relatives. It is the only house I have known since I was born, and it won't be the same without Grandma's stuff in it. I will not walk into that house and know that when I turn the corner I will see that wall of photos, that sewing machine and that bookshelf.

I know it will be sad, but these things have to be done. It is part of life. She had to do it for her parents, one day I will have to do it for my parents, and my children for me. The wheel of time stops for nobody.

you know, some quotes just beg to be quoted

2005-06-17T19:13:00.000-06:00

Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.
~Anais Nin

So was that summer or what?

2005-06-13T00:55:00.000-06:00

Today felt like a fall day. It was chilly and wet...

Rabbits everywhere!!!

2005-06-04T16:42:00.000-06:00

What's with the rabbits all of a sudden... I go for months without seeing any and I saw three just this morning - was there a disease that killed all the coyotes or something?

courage

2005-06-04T01:13:00.000-06:00

I think the most courageous people are those who don't worry about what other people do or think, for everyone must find happiness on their own path.

And if that's a cliche, what more do you want at 1:19 am.

call me eccentric if you will, but...

2005-06-02T12:17:00.000-06:00

Maybe I'm just turning into one of those curmudgeonly old ladies. But lately I really like wearing black. It seems to attract, and radiate, the right energy for me.

(cackle, cackle)

Just to serve notice to y'all

2005-06-01T14:44:00.000-06:00

I am not crumbling... and when I do crumble it will be because I want to, not because someone else wants me to...

today was a good day

2005-05-31T23:55:00.000-06:00

I felt like I was a cat. I felt like I was invisible.

I know, that's just weird.

what could have been

2005-05-29T00:41:00.000-06:00

It's a beautiful May evening on the prairie
As I sit by your grave
It reminds me of a May evening so long ago
When they told me you were gone

When you're 13 you think everything will last forever
And it's never true
But this was really cruel
As your stone says, "We never had a chance to say goodbye"

What could have been...

the cool of the night

2005-05-26T16:08:00.000-06:00

Night time is soft and soothing
Cool and sleepy
Until I remember your eyes
Scalding and piercing

gloom and doom...

2005-05-25T12:18:00.000-06:00

Today I feel sad for some reason... I don't really know why.

Tuesday's gone like the wind

2005-05-24T12:13:00.000-06:00

Going back to work after a long weekend has always seemed curiously disorienting. People come up and ask me about an ad I did on Friday and it seems like a lifetime ago.

I've been to the Stadium to see the Queen!

2005-05-23T19:56:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I was offered two tickets to the Alberta Centennial kick-off celebration at the Commonwealth Stadium. Due to the rain I was unable to get anyone to come with me but I enjoyed myself. It was cold and wet and they had to shorten the concert - and what was with the so-called covered stage? It must have been pretty leaky - it was obvious the stage was practically flooded, and a few members of the otherwise spectacular White Buffalo Dancers took spills.

But I must say I am impressed with my Canon PowerShot S1 IS, which got its first long-distance shooting workout today. With a 32X maximum zoom and image stabilization, it did the job shooting from the sixth row of the Stadium to the centre of the turf.

There was a big screen to see the proceedings.

Co-master of ceremonies, CBC's Colin McLean.

there were lots of soldiers and marching bands.

The Alberta Strutters.

Some people representing Alberta's various cultures - the Queen did a walkabout with them and with war veterans.

I thought this little guy was cute with one of the pipe and drum bands.

Premier and Dr. Klein (his wife) arrived in a 1928 Model T.

The vehicle containing the royal couple.

The Queen being escorted from the car.

The Duke of Edinburgh standing with Premier and Dr. Klein.

The Queen reviewing her honour guard.

Every once in a while the drummers had to turn their drums upside down to drain.

All the performers singing "Four Strong Winds" together.

The Queen, as usual, was gracious and smiling and the Duke seemed to be enjoying himself too.

hello all

2005-05-23T11:22:00.000-06:00

Well, for a first post this is probably rather lame.

It's raining and for most people that would be considered gloomy, but I love rain. I find it refreshing and nourishing. I hate bright sun and it hates me too - I sunburn, and get sunstroke, very easily.